Wednesday, December 11, 2013

What to Do When You Run Out of Deodorant?

This has probably happened to you as well, but my deodorant recently ran out. Yes, the deodorant became alive, grew legs, and ran out. So what happens when this seemingly impossibility happens to you? Running after it could be embarrassing because of the sweating and stink—the very things the deodorant is used to protect against. Of course, now one might realize why the deodorant ran out in the first place—who wants to protect anyone against sweat and stink?! What to do now? One possibility is buying some more but there are some potential problems with this depending on the person:
  • The deodorant might run out again.
  • Too lazy to physically go to the store to buy some.
  • Lack of memory to remember to buy some when present at the store.
  • The deodorant is expensive.
  • The store does not have the nice smelly deodorant you want, and you are picky.
  • The store only has antiperspirant deodorants, and you are overly concerned about the metals or other elements in the them.
  • No need for deodorant because of a overconfidence in the human body to produce nice smells—this usually does not last long though.
  • A lack of belief in the existence of deodorant—of course, this is foolish thinking.
What are things to do in place of deodorant if these problems are too big to overcome to buy more? Where here are some possibilities:
  • Put deodorant on your birthday or Christmas wish list—people might be more than willing to buy you some.
  • Have a shower morning and evening, and when you use the restroom, not only wash your hands but also your armpits. For those who never wash your hands, why do you even care about deodorant then? Also, please never shake my hand if that is the case.
  • Put on so much cologne that it is all everyone smells around you. Yes, they will be annoyed at you, but at least they do not smell your sweat and you do not have a bad stink—just a bad good stink.
  • Use any remnants left behind by the deodorant and hope for the best.
  • Avoid people and put up with your own stink.
  • Explain to people that you are using a new deodorant that only people with privileged noses can smell the deodorant and if you only smell stink, then your nose is not privileged and you should hide that fact in shame. Of course, this condones lying, which I do not recommend. However, it does not remove the fact that this is an option, but it will probably end poorly as most (if not all) lying does.
There are more possibilities for deodorant replacements, but I will leave those up to you. While writing this, a very kind person bought me some deodorant (and I did not even put it on my birthday or Christmas wish list), so I am going to lock up my deodorant so it does not run away again. Of course, I will use it first.


Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Philosophy of "Birthdays"

My last blog post was on November 10, which is the "birthday" of my brother. However, I did not mention that it was his "birthday" in my blog post, and my brother commented, "You wrote a blog on my birthday and did not mention my birthday??"

Did I do the unthinkable and forget his "birthday"? Or is there some underlying reason why I did not mention his "birthday"? Maybe there is a conspiracy theory behind me not mentioning his "birthday." Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I use quotes every time I am write "birthday."

First, we should define "birthday." However, I refuse to look at a dictionary. This will be my definition, the way I see it. "Birthdays," according to everyone else, are the anniversary of the day of one's birth.

Although, when I see the word "birthday," I do not automatically think anniversary. I think "birth" and "day," which reminds me of the day when we were born. One's "birthday" only happens once. I would suggest a better term would be "ageday." The words "age" and "day" would remind us that we get a year older, which would remind us of our "birthday"—when it all started. I wonder, however, if we called it "ageday," would anyone want to celebrate?

In other words, "birthdays" only happen once: when we are born. If you want "birthday" to refer to an anniversary, you need to say "birthday anniversary." So if the day you are born is your "birthday," then what are the other days called? The other days are your "unbirthday," of course!

I believe that everyone should celebrate unbirthdays. That way, we could be happy every single day, rather than just being happy on our birthday anniversary. (I did not put birthday in quotes this time, as I believe, if you have any reading comprehensive at all, that you should remember how I define birthdays in the previous paragraph.) If you happen to see me wishing you an unbirthday around the time of your birthday anniversary, now you know why.

Now on to why I did not mention brothers's "birthday" (I am quoting birthday now, as I was quoting his use of the term). Why did I not mention his "birthday"? After all, the blog post was on "What Is Going On," and I knew he celebrated his "birthday" that day, so it was something that was going on. My answer to what is going on in my blog post was that "nothing was going on."

The truth is that I was being truthful. God wants everyone to be truthful, you know. my brother's birthday, according to my definition, happened a very long time ago, so his birthday was really not happening (nothing was, indeed, happening). It still boggles my mind why my brother, or anyone else for that matter, thinks he is born every year. I refuse to celebrate a birthday for someone more than once. Now if you wanted to celebrate your "ageday" or "birthday anniversary," then that is a different matter, and I would be very willing to celebrate it with you. Unless I do not like you, then I would not be willing.

Now you may ask, so you deliberately did not mention anything about his "birthday" because of the reason in the previous paragraph? Well, not really; though, I do think it is a good reason, but the reason I did not mention it was because I did not think of it as I was writing my blog post. However, if I did think of it, I probably would have wished him a happy unbirthday to stress that it is not his birthday! So I guess I should apologize.

In conclusion, I think everyone should have lunch now. Why? Because I think I should have lunch, and that is the only thing on my mind right now. You might say that I never have anything on my mind, ever. I would not debate you on this, as you might very well be right. However, this does not change the fact that I think I am thinking lunch.


(Also, if anyone wants to come over and shovel my driveway, you are more than welcome. In fact, you are so welcome that I will let you say "hello" to me when you are done.)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What Is Going On?

I have not posted on this blog in awhile, and you probably have not been wondering what is going on, which is exactly the reason I am writing this. Nothing has been going on.

You may say that is impossible because even if you are doing nothing, you are, indeed, doing something. To which I would reply, "Yes, you are correct, but I am weird. Therefore, I am doing nothing." I can do nothing as a result of my weirdness.

Weirdness is the power of being different. Differences can be good, and being able to do nothing has its advantages (being just plain cool for one). For example, this blog post is actually amounts to nothing. This means as I wrote this blog post, I was not doing something—I was doing nothing!

Think about it, have you actually gained something from this post? You may say, "Yes, that you are weird!" I would agree with that, but that weirdness power is just been seen through my ability to do nothing. So yeah.


Monday, November 3, 2008

How to remember Church sermons

When people listen to sermons, people do various things during the sermon. Some take notes. Some do not, but still listen. Some got up too early and it is their nap time. You may wonder, so what ones has Weirdhamster done? Well, unfortunately, that is not what this blog is about. Eventually, most people forget the sermons that were preached (including the people that have taken notes); I have even experienced this.

Anyway, how do we combat this forgetfulness? And believe me, I have a terrible memory! My childhood is like three or four flashbacks (OK, maybe more, but you get the idea). No, I do not have trouble with flashbacks. So yeah. For me, notes do not help because I may write the notes, but I never end up looking at them again. Instead, pictures help me remember more than notes (yeah, you may have noticed the big white picture to the right); this is something new to me as well. I am a little sarcastic, I admit, with the pictures in relation to the verses, but it gets the idea across.

The pictures are about Galatians 5:13-15 that our Pastor was preaching on: "13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' 15 But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!"
First verse: the picture was getting the idea that we are to be a "light" to others through "serving" one another.

Second verse: the idea that you should love others as yourself.
Third verse: Sorry for the graphic nature of this picture, but the idea you need to trend carefully and apply the previous verses to your own life otherwise well, you get the idea.

I do not remember the entire sermon, but I do remember some of it because of these pictures! This will not work for everyone. You do not need to be sarcastic in order for this to work, but it may keep you awake in order to listen to the sermon!

These drawings (or picture) have given me another idea for a different content section of the site; I will have more on this soon, so please check back! Yes, I am trying to give some incentive for you all to come back, but if the weird nature of this website drives you away forever, then I hope you are at least driving away with good fuel mileage. So yeah.

OK, now I am just going to write about nothing in order to make sure the text goes past the picture. Is nothing something? I think it may be considering I am writing about nothing, but something is appearing. Remember, from out of nothing God created. So if nothing is not something, at least we know some One can make it something.

Well, it looks like that is enough for at least half of the monitor resolutions out there, so have fun!


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Random blog entry before bedtime...

So I really don't have much to say or anything intelligent to offer considering I am doing this just for pure randomness before my bedtime. Well, not really bedtime, but it is getting close. I actually don't have a bedtime! I am considered an adult, but that doesn't mean adults don't have bedtimes. Hmmm, I wonder what the definition of bedtime is: "the time at which a person usually goes to bed: It's past my bedtime?" ( Wow, I was right, because "a person" can mean an adult or child. No, I am not going to look up person in the dictionary.

This begs the question, not really, does everyone have a bedtime? Did I lie when I said, "I actually don't have a bedtime"? Not necessarily, if I went to bed at different times every night out of pure randomness, then I wouldn't really have a usual bedtime.

This begs another question, I bet I don't receive any money for this begging, should everyone have a bedtime? In a word, no. Why? Because of the word weird. Oh yes, I am tying this blog entry, whatever it is, back into the word weird. If I had a bedtime I normally went to bed, then that wouldn't be weird! And weird is always good, right (the answer to this question is another blog post)? Well, unfortunately, because of the normality of the world creeping in, I end up having normal bedtimes (sigh). I work at a specific time. My normal body needs a certain amount of sleep in order to function well at for work. Therefore, I need to go to bed before a certain time, otherwise, my work isn't work.

Does the answer to the second question answer my first? Kind of. Except for the occasionally weird person, most everyone ends up having a bedtime at a certain time because of the normality of the world, so in a sense, I did lie when I typed...well, you know what I typed..., but it wasn't lie because I was thinking in the sense of my other self that is disconnected from the normality of the world, but that self doesn't get to come out much (no, I am not crazy, I was typing figuratively).

Just think, I bet in Heaven, there are no bedtimes! Now that will be a good weird.


Saturday, July 5, 2008

Do flies have throats?

So there I was, sitting on my deck minding my own business, but that didn't last long as I noticed flies all around. I wouldn't mind if their location didn't equal my location (or close proximity thereof). It was enough to get my fly swatter out and kill nine. Actually, that isn't a lot compared to last year: when one day, I killed sixty-one flies! Since I starting counting my fly killing adventures, I would estimate I have killed about eighty flies (the other ten I killed randomly when their location was inside the house).

Just so we are clear, I didn't make their remains into pies and sell them to the public. I left most of them outside for the birds. Also, I didn't just kill them just because, I had a reason: they were going to blackmail me... I mean, they have bacteria on their bodies and when they are stupid enough to come close enough to my proximity, I kill them; not just for my sake, but for everyone's sake.

So yeah, today, I am going to be a fireworks technician (or whatever you call it), so if I do not write anymore blogs, you will probably know why. Speaking of future, unwritten blogs, I have had so many ideas for blogs, but I forget about them when I actually sit down to write one—if I ever remember any of them as I am sitting down to write, I may actually write it down. It may seem entirely out of context...well nevermind, moving on to the end. Goodbye. Been nice/terrible to know or not know you depending on who you are (sarcastic tone—if written words can have one).


Friday, May 16, 2008

Second entry!

As you can see, I am not one for titles or for daily blogs for that matter. Oh well... Anyway, I just moved my site to a different server and it went very smooth! Now I can focus on updating content and design. My new host has given me more services for a cheaper price, and email that actually works (my previous host was giving me trouble with my email).

Now if you read this far, I am really impressed, because I almost just stopped typing as I was boring myself. So........ummmmmmm something interesting.

Oh yes, something weird, my thoughts have been confirmed about movie critics—that they are called critics because they criticize movies! Pretty astounding wouldn't you say? Take for example, Speed Racer—I loved this movie, but the majority of the critics hated it. The critics told me that I probably wouldn't like it either, and that Iron Man was better. Nope, I liked Speed Racer better, but that is my personal opinion, which means, you still may like Iron Man better. Critics have personal opinions too, which is why I don't blindly take their word for it before I have actually seen it for myself. I liked Speed Racer better because I thought it had a better story, better special effects, and a weird style. It was different, but the critics seem to know the way it should be done: "the best way (i.e. NORMAL way) way to do it would be to...". So yes, I thought Speed Racer was weird in a good way.

If that wasn't interesting, then you probably aren't even reading this far, so I won't bother saying anything more on this sentence. For the rest that did read this far, thank you and don't hesitate to leave comments about what you thought of the movies!

More to come sometime, which could be awhile or not, it's hard to tell.